The Renewal Times
November, 2006.
ISSN 1705-3773 The Renewal Times
The Renewal Times is a publication of Renewal Technologies Inc. and is edited by Roger Ellerton.
This newsletter may be republished without permission, provided it is reproduced in its entirety and provided copyright is acknowledged. To reproduce sections of the newsletter, please contact Renewal Technologies Inc. at info@renewal.ca.
Please forward this newsletter to friends and colleagues. To become a subscriber or to view previous editions of this newsletter, please visit www.renewal.ca/newsletter.htm.
Please note: The material in this newsletter is presented for information only. It is not a substitute for medical, psychological or professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional.
Included in this newsletter:
- Thought for the day
- Health Notes
- Upcoming Seminars
- Feature Article
- Humour
- More Information
******************
Thought for the Day
******************
The great aim of education is not knowledge but action.
Herbert Spencer
****************
Your Assistance
****************
This year give a gift that provides value through out the year!
Discover what’s holding you back. Get the results you desire. Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You by Roger Ellerton provides you with insights and proven techniques to improve your communication skills at work and at home.
. . . upbeat and positive-minded, offering step-by-step instructions to focus one's thoughts in the right direction. An excellent and easy-to-use self-help resource. Midwest Book Review, midwestbookreview.com
Available from Amazon.com
NEW! Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up is now available as an ebook at Powells.com
**************
Advertisement
**************
Looking for featured authors such as Donald Trump, Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer and others? You can find them at Nightingale Conant.
************
Health Notes
************
Men, Eat Your Vegetables
Men whose diets were highest in fiber in a recent study had an 18 percent lower risk of prostate cancer compared to men in the study who ate the least fiber. Mainly fiber from vegetable sources appeared to be beneficial. Fiber-rich vegetables include cabbage, broccoli, and peas.
--
Get Up from Your Desk and Exercise
Sitting for more than 6 hours per day can significantly increase a person's risk of becoming overweight or obese, a study of 1,500 men revealed recently. Fight back against a sedentary desk job by taking frequent walking breaks, exercising at lunchtime, and walking or biking to work whenever safely possible.
*****************************
Upcoming Seminars / Workshops
*****************************
We are pleased to offer the following public workshops/seminars:
Introductory NLP Evening
December 5, 7:00pm – 9:00pm
Please come as our guest. Invite a friend to come with you. Registration is required so that we can reserve a seat for you. E-mail your name and the number of people attending to info@renewal.ca. For more information, please see www.renewal.ca/freeseminar.htm.
During this event, we will have a book signing for Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You and offer you a special discounted price.
NLP Practitioner Training
Three week-ends: February 2 - 4, 16 - 18, 23 - 25, 2007.
or
Seven consecutive days: July 9 - 15, 2007.
Getting More Out of Life
A series of three programs designed to help you get more out of life through discovering who you are at many levels -- your place in the world, your mission in life -- and to inspire you to take action to pursue your mission with passion and joy in a way that is respectful of others.
January 20 - 21, 2007 Program 1: Discover Yourself -- Find Out What's Holding You Back
For our most recent schedule and a description of these workshops/seminars, please visit www.renewal.ca/neurolinguistic.htm
Click on the following link for the location of our NLP Training Centre in Ottawa (Stittsville), Ontario
*************
Feature Article
*************
This article may be reproduced, provided it is reproduced in full, including author bio and a link to renewal.ca. If you republish this or any of our other articles without including the author's name, bio and a link to renewal.ca, you will be in violation of copyright law and sent an invoice.
Double Binds
By Roger Ellerton Phd, ISP, CMC, Renewal Technologies Inc. www.renewal.ca
Double binds occur frequently in everyday life. A double bind occurs when we believe we have only two choices available to us. This perceived boundary - based on our beliefs and values about ourselves, about others or about the world around us - is actually an illusion as we always have more than two choices.
Sometimes the double bind restricts us from achieving our full potential. For example, a person who hates his job chooses to maintain his current situation because he sees only two choices - stay with his current job or be unemployed - a limitation imposed by his beliefs about his skills and abilities.
Other times a double bind gives us choice when we feel stuck or are in a space of no choice. A coach may say to a client, “Would you like to begin addressing your issue now or after you have read the next paragraph?” If the client accepts this limitation of choices, she will address her issue, the only question is when.
A double bind can also be used during a negotiation to assist the other party to move to a negotiated agreement or to focus on one of two acceptable alternatives. A parent can assist their child to go to bed at a reasonable hour with less fuss by asking, “Would you like to go to bed now or after daddy reads you a story?” Note: pick an activity that does not get the child overly excited and then has trouble settling down. Children often like to feel they have some choice over their activities. Notice the illusion that there are only two possibilities, when many others exist.
The key to double binds is to realize that they are an illusion. There are always other choices, if you take time to explore the beliefs and values that hold the illusion in place. The world you live in is an illusion based on what you believe is real/possible or not possible. Someone else standing in your shoes with exactly the same skills and with different beliefs about themselves and the world around them would see very different possibilities.
In the following examples of double binds, notice how the person’s thinking has been restricted, also notice which ones play a role in your life and which ones are useful:
- A couple are out on a date having a great time. Towards the end of the evening, the man says, “Your place or mine?” The implication is sexual relations at one of these places. Depending on her beliefs (about herself, how men and women interact), her values, etc., she may find herself in a dilemma - feeling that she has to choose between these two choices, when in fact lots of other choices are available to her: “Let’s go for a coffee and talk about what we would like to do tomorrow.” or simply, “I choose to go home by myself.”
- A woman believes that if her husband really loved her he would know what to buy her for her birthday. If he asks, he is in trouble and if out of all of the gifts that are possible, he chooses the wrong one, he is also in trouble. Notice how the woman’s belief has set this up and that she is making herself a victim of her husband’s actions no matter what he does.
- A therapist may assist her client to gain a more expansive view of the world so that he sees a more palatable and healthy choice than the only choice he was aware of until now.
- At one time or another, we have been subjected to bureaucratic red tape. On two occasions, I have used the following process to get resolution when others have said it was not possible. Each time I talked with someone, I was pleasant, explained my issue and asked for help resolving it. If the problem was not resolved, I documented the conversation and asked for the name of someone more senior who could assist me. On two occasions (different companies), I had written to the President with no success. I then obtained the names of the members of the Board of Directors (both were public companies), wrote a brief covering letter and attached my documentation that clearly indicated the situation was not resolved and the inappropriate actions/decisions that had been taken. My concluding sentence in each letter was the following, “Either you fully support how this has been handled, in which case do nothing, or commit to getting a mutually acceptable resolution.” Notice how I associated doing nothing with support for how things had been handled and created the illusion that there were only two choices.
- Sometimes we create internal conflict for ourselves, by seeing two desires as mutually exclusive: e.g. Successful career vs. freedom to do what I want or committed relationship vs. maintaining my individual identity. An NLP parts integration can be used in these situations to resolve the conflict and to become aware that both are possible.
If you find yourself seemingly trapped in a double bind, realize there are always other choices, you just need time or assistance to discover them. In some cases, you can do this yourself, other times you may need the assistance of a professional.
Author: Roger Ellerton is a certified NLP trainer, certified management consultant and the founder and managing partner of Renewal Technologies. The above article is based on his book Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You.
*******
Humour
*******
Actuaries
An actuary, an underwriter, and an insurance salesperson are riding in a car. The salesperson has his foot on the gas, the underwriter has his foot on the brake, and the actuary is looking out the back window telling them where to go.
--
A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg. The first actuary quoted an annual premium of $500, estimating that the leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is $10,000. The second actuary quoted an annual premium of $50. When the second actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure, he replied, "I checked the fire schedule rating table and classified the item in question as a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler."
****************
More Information
****************
For more information, please visit our website or contact us at info@renewal.ca
Copyright © 2006, Renewal Technologies Inc. All rights reserved.
Books, ebooks and CDs by Roger Ellerton
 |
 |
 |
 |
Click on the following links to obtain more information on these products:
- Book: Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You.
- e-book: Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: 5 Step Action Plan.
- NEW! Book: Parents' Handbook: NLP and Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being.
- e-book: NLP Techniques Anyone Can Use. Discover the power of NLP.
- CD: Ho'oponopono, a meditation to bringing balance into your life.
- CD: Balancing Modalities, a meditation to improve access to the visual, auditory, kinesthetic and auditory digital modalities.
- CD: Outcome MASTERY, a process and meditation to help you achieve what you desire - more comprehensive than SMART goals.
Renewal Technologies Inc.
Ottawa - Kingston - Gananoque
Ontario, Canada
K2S 1G2
www.renewal.ca
info@renewal.ca
