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Six Primary Parenting Roles

By Roger Ellerton Phd, ISP, CMC, Renewal Technologies Inc.

Each child is a unique individual, and each has their own schedule for growing up. At each stage of growth, their needs and expectations from their parents will change. To meet these needs, parents play six primary roles - sometimes two or three at the same time - and communicate with each child according to that child's focus, style and age requirements.

Caretaker/guide. Promote your children's development by providing safe and supportive environments, while providing guidance and direction on possible paths they can take to achieve their desired outcomes.

Coach. Help your children perform to the best of their abilities by identifying and encouraging specific action steps they can take to reach a successful conclusion.

Teacher. Help your children develop new strategies, skills and capabilities for thinking and taking action, rather than focusing on a particular accomplishment in a specific situation.

Mentor. Provide guidance and influence to generate and strengthen important beliefs and values for your children, while functioning as an appropriate role model.

Sponsor. Recognize, acknowledge and promote an attribute or identity that is already within your children, but that is not yet fully developed or that they are not yet aware of.

Awakener. Bring to your children's attention the purpose/vision that is awaiting them beyond the bounds of their family or community.

Each of the above roles provides respectful and timely feedback that includes praise and suggestions for improvement to help your children learn and grow. For example, as a coach you provide feedback with regard to the actions your children have or have not taken, while a mentor will model and provide direction on specific beliefs or values that are important.

The skills related to a particular role include and also transcend the skills of all of the previous levels. That is, a teacher must have and exhibit the skills and abilities of a coach, a caretaker/guide and more. On the other hand, a guide may not possess or need to exhibit the skills and abilities of a coach.

Although presented from a parenting perspective, these ideas and concepts are equally valid for managers, life/executive coaches or anyone involved in supporting another person. In fact, an article similar to this was published in The Costco Connection. The main difference? The word "parent" was replaced with"manager" and the word "children" was replaced with "staff".

More information on these roles and specific actions you can take as a parent or manager are presented in Parents' Handbook: NLP and Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being..

Author: Roger Ellerton is a certified NLP trainer, certified management consultant and the founder and managing partner of Renewal Technologies. The above article is based on his book Parent's Handbook: NLP and Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being.

Copyright © 2010 and 2015 Renewal Technologies Inc. All rights reserved.

Books and ebooks by Roger Ellerton

Consider the following books and ebooks by Roger Ellerton.

NLP book: Live Your Dreams NLP book: 5 step action plan NLP book: Parents' Handbook NLP book: Win-Win Influence Self-Publish Your Book NLP and Personal Growth Thoughts Volume 1 Book: NLP Techniques Anyone Can Use
  • Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You covers all of the basic NLP material and is a great resource for coaches, managers and those wanting to learn NLP.
  • Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: 5 Step Action Plan provides a road map for achieving your goals or coaching others to do so.
  • Parent's Handbook: NLP and Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being provides effective ways to improve your communication with your children and your children's communication with you, their teachers and friends. You will also learn how to support your children in school and elsewhere.
  • Win-Win Influence: How to Enhance Your Personal and Business Relationships provides proven processes for you to be the difference that makes the difference in creating better results in your life, career or any place two or more people gather.
  • Self-Publishing Your Book: A Guide for First-Time and DIY Authors shares insights and experiences based on my mistakes and lessons learned while writing and publishing eight books. This book is getting a little dated, however there are many ideas that you should find useful.
  • NLP and Personal Growth Thoughts: A Series of Articles by Roger Ellerton. Volumes 1 and 2 each contain 15 articles. Some articles will educate you on basic NLP concepts, while others will challenge your current way of thinking and how you view the world around you.
  • NLP Techniques Anyone Can Use provides ten typical NLP processes that illustrate the breadth and potential of NLP.

For more detailed information on these books, please click here.

These books are available through various online book retailers including Google Play and Amazon.